I’m in a season of investing and I’m exhausted.  A brief stint solo to a Caribbean Island  sounds really good right now.

I’m not dabbling in stocks and bonds and watching with bated breath as my 401k grows.  With all due respect to the stock market types who get it, I still don’t get it.  Someday I will, maybe.

I’m engaged in a type of investing where sometimes the return is REALLY hard to see.  My investing runs off different ratios of coffee, Bible, prayer, cries of desperation and girlfriends and a husband that graciously remind it will be okay when I do downright lose it.  My investing involves deep discernment and contentment and gratitude to understand what this season means for me right now:

This is not my season to have sparkling clean baseboards.  I do fantasize about that.  That’s not weird at all, is it?  I also fantasize about  coming home to NOT A MOUNTAIN OF LAUNDRY, and someone has magically redone all the flooring in our house.

This is not my season to say yes to every opportunity.  I wish you could witness the patient and kind manner in which my hubby gently assured me that I am NOT called to be our almost 6 year old’s Soccer Team Mom this season.  Could I do it? Probably.  Could I do it well?  Doubtful.  Would I end up as a demon possessed poltergeist flinging Capri Sun and orange slices while our almost 3 year old takes off running to the parking lot?  Probable.  Not my season…(My first hint should have been that when I prayed about it, the number one item on my agenda of being the Soccer Team Mom, was to go on a mission and find another woman to delegate it to.   LOL!)

This is not my season to stress every aspect of life.  Being a working mom means I pray to discern the priorities and aim for the priorities.  Loving my hubby and kids are a priority, spending time with God is a priority, good stewardship is a priority.  Everything else either happens or not, not a life deal breaker.  That means we may eat left overs or carry out and my kids may not get a bath per the proposed schedule.  This means our carpets are well, we won’t even go there.

Love means we discipline when it would so much easier to hail a cab to somewhere else.  For the past 6 months, we’ve had a 5th member of the family – the spanking spoon.  Whether you are pro-spanking or not, a deeper resolve to discipline more consistently is paying off for our wild stallion little boy.  This is my hardest area of investing, the daily decision to put one foot forward every minute with a combined focus of grace, discipline, love.  It seems so much easier at times to just give full vent to my frustration and claim temporary insanity.  Just sayin’.

I’m investing with a hopeful forecast that it will pay off with children that are wildly in love with God, responsible, hard working, and overflowing with love.  They won’t be perfect which is actually just fine because I’m not either.  Perfection is a foolhardy pursuit.  Instead, I pray to weigh my words and heart’s motives with wisdom as my scale,  and then leave LOTS OF ROOM FOR GRACE.

This type of investing takes a commitment to persevere.  Just keep going.  We don’t often get monthly or quarterly statements for our parenting like we do financial stuff. But don’t be afraid to ask for input from people you admire and respect.  When we are in the trenches of investing, sometimes we need the reassurance of people of just how fantastically wonderful and a gift from God our kids are.  Sometimes we need that  little extra boost that this investing is absolutely, undeniably, unequivocally worth it.